By Madison Zuniga
“Well, I would love to go to graduate school, or work in the publishing and editing field, but I definitely want to prioritize starting a family.”
A crease forms on my friend’s forehead, and I sense her confusion. Silence stretches between us for a few awkward moments.
“But don’t you want to live your own life first?” she finally asks. So many implications lay hidden in her words. Your own life. As if, once you start a family, you lose your life.
I wonder what she pictures when she imagines ‘her own life’ after college. Likely childless, traveling, and independent until at least the age of thirty-five. She might envision herself gaining worldly experience, with the freedom to be adventurous, and enjoying complete financial independence. Of course, aspects of that life are appealing, even energizing. Often, I imagine being untethered from my responsibilities, living ‘freely’.
But what is true freedom? Is it when we have the freedom to do whatever we want, or is it freedom from such things as selfishness, sensuality, and meaninglessness? God calls us to a life of freedom, and the Bible repeatedly describes a freedom in Christ which liberates us from slavery in the flesh. Galatians 5:13 explains: “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (ESV).
When Christ calls us to life in Him, He also calls us to be free. This freedom allows us to be outward-facing and loving, especially through vocational service. If our lives are oriented towards service in Christ’s name, we can enjoy true freedom from those yokes of selfishness, sensuality, and meaninglessness. We can be Christ-centered, not self-centered, focused on the good news of the Gospel and not our flesh, and filled with purpose as we live for others.
This servant-oriented way of life is especially crucial within the family. Mothers and fathers are constantly sacrificing their time, energy, money, and attention for their children, and such living sacrifices embody the Christlike servanthood that we are called to. This sacrifice is not without reward. The Bible describes children as a heritage, crowns, fruit, and blessings who belong to the kingdom of heaven. A healthy family is designed by God to be productive and successful, with one member supporting the other, so that they can all rely on each other. Christian families are given the special opportunity to train their children in good, fruitful ways designated by God, so that when they are older, they can continue to reflect the truth of Christ.
Unfortunately, young people today often view children as an interruption, an obstacle, or the end to a good life. Even though I have a strong desire to start my own family, the discordant voices of the world make it difficult to understand God’s intentions for me. Our culture struggles so much with identity and purpose, especially when it comes to young women and mothers. The world has fed us so many lies that sometimes we can’t even agree on what a woman is. In His Word, God offers many beautiful depictions of womanhood, but the emphasis on service, hard work, and responsibility in Proverbs 31:10-31 is one of the most encouraging and inspiring. For any young woman unsure of her calling to be a mother and wife, it offers an uplifting vision of who she could be.
Of course, starting a family as a young person will come with hardships, and it’s true that caring for children in a dangerous sinful world is intimidating. However, by finding confidence in God’s Word and emphasizing the fulfillment that comes from a servant-oriented mindset, fear can be overcome by joy, and anxiety can be replaced with trust. C.S. Lewis reminds us that “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”
Lord, help us understand and accept Your definitions of life, freedom, and service. Lead us towards Your truth amidst the lies and confusion of this world, especially as young people seeking out purpose and plans for the future. May we live in Christ-like service towards others, whether that be our neighbors, our family, or our children. May we trust in Your good works, and find freedom in Your way of life. Amen.