By Anna Young
Dinner dates and weekly flowers, lengthy voicemails expressing true feelings, chocolate hearts and handwritten notes tucked into coat pockets, perfect proposals, fairy-tale weddings, and Instagram-worthy romances.
Love is marketed as this: everything you’ve ever dreamed of all the time. It will be perfect. Just wait for the right person and-POOF-you have it. You have a love story, just like the movies. But is this really love? Or is it a commercialized, superficial version of love that pales in comparison to the sacrificial love exemplified by St. Valentine?
St. Valentine was a third-century priest who defied Emperor Claudius II’s ban on marriages, secretly performing weddings for Christian couples. He was imprisoned for his faith. Valentine’s jailer, Asterius, had a blind daughter named Julia; while in captivity, he is said to have healed Julia and led her entire family to convert to Christianity by sharing scripture.
Before Valentine’s execution on February 14th, 270 AD, he left Julia a note signed from your Valentine. Historians debate whether St.Valentine truly fell in love with Julia or if they were merely friends. Regardless, Valentine’s death was not for romantic love but for his love of God and His word—a sacrifice that cost him his life.
How interesting that Valentine’s Day, February 14th, the day we celebrate love, is St. Valentine’s death date. At first glance it is odd, but the Christian can see the beautiful association of love and death. In a way, agape love or sacrificial love is death; it requires doing what is necessary to uphold another’s life – even laying down one’s life for another. Jesus died on the cross, not merely to show us He loves us, but also to pay for our sins and our shame. His act of love enables us to put to death our love of worldly sinful things. St. Valentine befriended Julia, healed her from her blindness, and shared the Gospel with her. Jesus befriends us and heals us of a different type of blindness, the blindness we have towards our sin. Once we see our sin, we understand the fullness of the Gospel and the Word of God through the Holy Spirit.
Our earthly relationships do matter to God; He delights in our Godly friendships. Many will or do fill their days living out the vocation of husband and wife in a marriage, reflecting Christ and His church. Marriage is a true gift; so to is the gift that often comes with marriage: creating, sustaining, and baptizing new precious life. Some yearn for this gift of marriage and family. Some are content in their current season of singleness and give their time and talents to their Church family. Every vocation is valuable in the eyes of the Lord. He has unique and good plans for all His children, regardless of relationship status.
What is true of every earthly relationship, whether romantic or platonic, is that it will disappoint us at some point. Our sin will cause arguments, strife, confusion, and discontentment. The affection or friendship of fellow sinners does not save us. Our marriage won’t save us. Our piety toward the church in our singleness won’t save us. And our family won’t save us. But the blood of Jesus does save us. We don’t need to be on the quest for true love because we have it in Christ who is both Truth and Love. No, Jesus is not your Valentine. He is much, much more. And only Jesus will be able to satisfy all the desires of your heart.